Thursday, June 19, 2014


Thank you everyone, especially:
Readership this month!  

Readership this week!

   United States 2573
Germany 131
Russia 73
Brazil 29
Sweden 23
Vietnam 19
Ukraine 14
United Kingdom 13
Malaysia 11
Italy 10

        I thought my viewers might be interested to see the worldwide audience of my readership.  One can see from the above list that broken relationships happen all over the world, crossing politics, religions, economics, cultures, races and genders.  We are all broken people who are hurting.  I don't know the original person who said this, but it bears repeating, "Hurting people hurt other people." 
        There came a time in my life when the desire to break that cycle was greater than the pain and satisfaction I derived from hanging onto my hurt.  
        Yes, I did say the word, "satisfaction." I grabbed a sociology credit as an elective while attending Texas Women's University and this is probably the only bit of lecture I retained from the course.  I have slept a few nights since then, but my professor said,

"People gain a measure of satisfaction from their situations or they would change their situation."

        And I was good at nursing my pain and justifying life as I had always known it, as a VICTIM.  Over time, my victim attitude matured into a full-fledged martyr syndrome.  I also fed it well.
        My satisfaction came from a false perception.  As people listened to my woes, I enjoyed and thrived on their sympathies.  My whining and complaining were rooted in a self pity that relished with subconscious delight as many close friends and family agreed with my flights into relational poverty.  Occasionally, my audience slipped into co-misery with me and fed this hunger for love that I perceived as a personal loyalty. 
        While their sympathy was merely a cheap substitute for what my soul really needed, I have realized that God still used this season to satiate my hunger. Although I couldn’t see at the time all the good He was accomplishing, I grew immensely from the experiences of divorce, betrayal and abandonment.  Eventually, because of healthy pastoral and adoptive parental relationships and in other spiritually enriching ways, I learned that sympathy and love are NOT equal.  
        God’s redemptive plan always involves people.   Just as Jesus’ death and resurrection was the Father’s plan for redeeming humanity, “being real with myself about myself” meant regularly crucifying “Victim” and “Martyr” so that Jesus could fully live in me.  This awareness continues to bring about a greater conviction and repentance that has ultimately provided availability to share genuine love with others and an ability to give love, even to me. 
        I am a new creation.  Recently, someone asked me how I came to my faith.  Though I made a decision for Christ as a child, I had a fresh and powerful, life changing encounter with Him in 1997.  Truthfully, the Holy Spirit has worked effectually through these adult years to redeem the little girl who gave her life to Jesus.  Now, I give my life for Him.  There is a difference.
        I am still coming to faith in Christ. Every day, I am grateful for the Lord’s redemptive plan that involves people who genuinely love and care about me.  I wasn’t just an abused, neglected, love-starved, and famished wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend.   I was a perishing soul who needed rescue and God in His Infinite Wisdom sent a dear man named William to offer a new way of life to me.  But the laying down of my own life plans in exchange for God’s purposes in sharing my husband's ministry has cost me…everything. 
        The sacrifice of obedience is like that. Having a relationship with Jesus Christ, the Messiah, will cost you everything that you hold dear. It may even cost your life.  The relationships that you are most confident in may falter from a lack of understanding or spiritual maturity.  Your relational bonds may be rooted in a hunger language named “Victim” and “Martyr.”  Those who knew you before may be uncomfortable and may not trust the new person they see. They may be silent or prefer to love you from a distance.   
        One thing is certain.  You will discover how insignificant you are.  Significance and fulfillment are only found in close relationship with God the Father, through His Son, Jesus Christ and empowered by the Holy Spirit to live life fully!

“Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after right standing with God and man, Justice, for they shall be satisfied.” Matt 5:6

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged; Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Cor 13:5-7

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PLEASE NOTE:  This post is not intended to judge the depth of anyone's relationship with the Lord but to share how God worked in MY h...