ABUNDANT LIFE...MY CUP RUNNETH OVER!

      In spite of his pressing health issues, my desire to introduce my husband at our family reunion prevailed and we changed our plans to attend at the last minute. A quick getaway trip over a long weekend was “just what the doctor ordered.”

        Afterwards, William and I returned home and resumed the daily routine. Our custom is morning devotions before breakfast. Armed with warm coffee, our Bibles and two devotionals for guidance, we settled comfortably into the wing back chairs by the window. And like most mornings, the reading stimulated dialogue for possible life applications. From October 20 in Sarah Young’s “Jesus Calling,” I read aloud,

          “I am your living God, far more abundantly alive than the most vivacious person you know. The human body is wonderfully crafted, but gravity and the inevitable effects of aging weigh it down. Even the most superb athlete cannot maintain his fitness over many decades. Lasting abundant life can be found in Me alone.”

          I finished the page and Bill asked,

           “Kate, what does abundant life look like?”

        It is his way, asking what something looks like to further our understanding. I remembered the Amplified translation of John 10:10 and I heard myself repeating words like, “full, to the fullest, till overflowing.” Our discussion turned a corner when Bill looked squarely at me and said,

          “In my adult life, I’ve never been to a family reunion quite like yours.”

           “What do you mean?”

          “Kate, if I were asked to describe an abundant life, I’d begin with kitchen counters filled with rich meats, vegetables, breads, appetizers and desserts with coffee and teapots that never emptied. As absent soldiers’ pictures stood like sentinels guarding the chow line, proud parents and siblings paid tribute to their military family members as they milled freely about. Against a panoramic view of the Texas hill country, a table filled with homemade craft items and baked goods competed for the highest bid to help fund the next reunion. River walks, tractor rides, skeet shoots, hula hoops and rope toys, scrabble games, wildflowers, centipedes and dragonflies enhanced the menu as well as cows mooing, dogs barking, children laughing, men whistling, and women chatting. Aunts, uncles and cousins alike perused the family albums and told memorable stories to help bridge the generation gaps. These are the conversations that cannot fit on paper or paintings fit for a canvas. This picture of abundant life is a colorful palette of variety that could never be improved with Photoshop."

          For a moment, I was speechless, but it was true. He had just described the reunion. Our family works hard to create these Kodak moments that anyone would covet. I never realized how covetous until Bill shared his observations.  I am a part of a family that can’t be owned, but ours is a true wealth that can be possessed. This is the prosperity of my soul.

          Bill continued,

          “Many people acquire these relational opportunities, but few truly apprehend them. Just like some folks never truly apprehend their divine identity and enjoy a genuine, relational life in Jesus.”

          I confess I have taken my earthly family for granted. Some of these relationships have been white water rapids and others, placid tidal pools. You probably have similar relationships in your life. In either case, an abundant life begins with an invitation “to dive in,” a permission “to look around and see what you find.” But “life exchange” requires a response to the invitation.

         As believers, we said, “Yes” to His outstretched hand when we were drowning. Then the Lord gave us to a spiritual family that continually invites us to safely wade in deeper. Hopefully, you are finding refreshment and leading others to the River of Life. From the Gospel of John, we read,

          “Now on the final and most important day of the Feast, Jesus stood and He cried in a loud voice, ‘If any man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me [who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me], as the Scripture has said, ‘From his innermost being shall flow [continuously] springs and rivers of living water.’” John 7:37-38 AMP                                                                

Come on in, the water is fine!

©2014-2016

TRANSITIONS

#1 BRAZIL

Your interest this month pushed your position to #2 (behind USA) for the all-time history readership of Woman at a Well Ministries. Thank you so much.

                “Paul planted, Apollos watered, but God caused the growth.” 
1 Cor 3:6 

            I love it when God uses my personal life to teach me about Him. Probably you master gardeners have learned this lesson, but in all my years, I have never witnessed such a marvel. 

            Since my marriage to William last year, I assumed many household duties from our housekeeper. I especially enjoy our personal shopping, laundry, and the outdoor watering of our patio plants. 

            Over the past years, Bill had many friends who endowed their outdoor gardening talents at Aerie Hall. (“Aerie” means a high, hidden and safe cleft in the rock; an eagle’s nest.) Pastor Piersol generously planted beautiful trees and shrubs. While Bob and Nancy resided here, she devoted her green thumbs for transplanting, weeding, feeding and consistently watering all the plants.

            When I arrived as the new gardener, the Texas summer heat had taken its toll and many plants were nearly dead. My own plants struggled with traumatic moves to and from Austin and a few had not survived. I culled through the pots hoping to recover any that showed the slightest life. Some were hopeless. I threw away soil and stacked empty pots in the shed. I pruned other plants radically and simply rearranged the remaining pots under the portico. During the year, I faithfully committed generous drinks of water to our plant life. 

            Following the hot summer, an unusually cold winter froze the remnant. I discarded more plants and dirt and I stacked up a few more pots in the shed. It seemed that deadness generated more deadness with one plant especially. Even so, I refused to give up and I continued to trim its leaves.

            I also watered two dead Dracaena stumps, commonly called “corn plants.” Someone had planted them in the middle of the largest pot with some very lush foliage that flourished as the spring season arrived.

            Midsummer heat cycled back around and after returning from our anniversary trip, I resumed the watering schedule. I made the rounds from pot to pot with the hose and to my surprise, one of the dead Dracaenas had a little bud jutting from the side of the stalk. I had no idea there was the slightest life in that dead stump.

            Soon after noticing these buds, I showed them off to friends and family. One friend remarked,

            “I wouldn't discount that second stump just yet.” 

Even though it appeared limp and mushy, I watered the stump. A few days later, I discovered a new corn plant erupting from under the neighboring soil just as he had predicted.  

   

             Several spiritual applications for this story have touched my life personally so I saw them immediately. You may see others. First, I recognized the difference between surviving and thriving seasons. I noticed the importance of patience during dormancy, willingness in submission to painful pruning and finally, the stewardship of God’s faithfulness.

             Transformation is a mysterious process. The most notable, profound and celebrated transformations happen from “glory to glory.” If you are in the season of that two-letter word, “to,” you, too, are in good company. Remember that a Saturday occurred between the most revered Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. The Gospels divulge little to nothing about what transpired in the disciples’ lives on that Saturday. Can you imagine the pressure and anxiety, disbelief and grief Jesus’ followers must have experienced during this shift in their world? Even an earthquake accompanied the most horrendous evils that Friday, and yet, Sunday came!       

            Transitions are critically necessary for “times of refreshing.” God’s redemptive plan always requires a transition from repentance to recovery. The requirement usually involves some kind of tension in our souls. As long as I consider humility, forgiveness and obedience as merely "options," conflict and uncertainty remain, as does my survival mode. Lost dreams and dashed hopes for a gratifying life, single or married, always appear in the “to and twain” times, but so do the seeds of the most astonishing deliverance! When I am tempted to ask, “Why is this happening to me” I hope I remember the seeds of a dead corn plant that did not merely survive, but thrived because of my willingness to respond.

            God is faithful to provide. He carefully positions and promises colorful, productive maturation in whatever way He sees appropriate. I believe God waters the souls of people where there seems to be no spiritual life. He waters with no apparent motive except Love and His desire to generate prime, wholesome and enduring growth in His children. God blesses the just and the unjust alike to quicken our hearts toward Him. 

            A distinguished Christian author and historian, Philip Yancey quotes H. G. Wells, who was not a Christian, “Every historian’s test is a question, ‘What do we leave behind to grow?’” 

Let all those who come behind find us faithful.

(c) 2014-2016

THE LANGUAGE OF HUNGER

Thank you everyone, especially:
#2 SWEDEN

#3 BRAZIL

Readership this month!  

#1 SWEDEN 

#2 ISRAEL

Readership this week!

ALL TIME HISTORY:

   United States 2573

Germany 131

Russia 73

Brazil 29

Sweden 23

Vietnam 19

Ukraine 14

United Kingdom 13

Malaysia 11

Italy 10

        I thought my viewers might be interested to see the worldwide audience of my readership.  One can see from the above list that broken relationships happen all over the world, crossing politics, religions, economics, cultures, races and genders.  We are all broken people who are hurting.  I don't know the original person who said this, but it bears repeating, "Hurting people hurt other people." 

        There came a time in my life when the desire to break that cycle was greater than the pain and satisfaction I derived from hanging onto my hurt.  

        Yes, I did say the word, "satisfaction." I grabbed a sociology credit as an elective while attending Texas Women's University and this is probably the only bit of lecture I retained from the course.  I have slept a few nights since then, but my professor said,

"People gain a measure of satisfaction from their situations or they would change their situation."

        And I was good at nursing my pain and justifying life as I had always known it, as a VICTIM.  Over time, my victim attitude matured into a full-fledged martyr syndrome.  I also fed it well.

        My satisfaction came from a false perception.  As people listened to my woes, I enjoyed and thrived on their sympathies.  My whining and complaining were rooted in a self pity that relished with subconscious delight as many close friends and family agreed with my flights into relational poverty.  Occasionally, my audience slipped into co-misery with me and fed this hunger for love that I perceived as a personal loyalty. 

        While their sympathy was merely a cheap substitute for what my soul really needed, I have realized that God still used this season to satiate my hunger. Although I couldn’t see at the time all the good He was accomplishing, I grew immensely from the experiences of divorce, betrayal and abandonment.  Eventually, because of healthy pastoral and adoptive parental relationships and in other spiritually enriching ways, I learned that sympathy and love are NOT equal.  

        God’s redemptive plan always involves people.   Just as Jesus’ death and resurrection was the Father’s plan for redeeming humanity, “being real with myself about myself” meant regularly crucifying “Victim” and “Martyr” so that Jesus could fully live in me.  This awareness continues to bring about a greater conviction and repentance that has ultimately provided availability to share genuine love with others and an ability to give love, even to me. 

        I am a new creation.  Recently, someone asked me how I came to my faith.  Though I made a decision for Christ as a child, I had a fresh and powerful, life changing encounter with Him in 1997.  Truthfully, the Holy Spirit has worked effectually through these adult years to redeem the little girl who gave her life to Jesus.  Now, I give my life for Him.  There is a difference.

        I am still coming to faith in Christ. Every day, I am grateful for the Lord’s redemptive plan that involves people who genuinely love and care about me.  I wasn’t just an abused, neglected, love-starved, and famished wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend.   I was a perishing soul who needed rescue and God in His Infinite Wisdom sent a dear man named William to offer a new way of life to me.  But the laying down of my own life plans in exchange for God’s purposes in sharing my husband's ministry has cost me…everything. 

        The sacrifice of obedience is like that. Having a relationship with Jesus Christ, the Messiah, will cost you everything that you hold dear. It may even cost your life.  The relationships that you are most confident in may falter from a lack of understanding or spiritual maturity.  Your relational bonds may be rooted in a hunger language named “Victim” and “Martyr.”  Those who knew you before may be uncomfortable and may not trust the new person they see. They may be silent or prefer to love you from a distance.   

        One thing is certain.  You will discover how insignificant you are.  Significance and fulfillment are only found in close relationship with God the Father, through His Son, Jesus Christ and empowered by the Holy Spirit to live life fully!

“Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after right standing with God and man, Justice, for they shall be satisfied.” Matt 5:6

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged; Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Cor 13:5-7

(c) Copyright 2014-2016

REAL TREASURE

            Today marks a one year anniversary of my first date with a gentleman.  His name is William.  I felt and still feel totally safe and comfortable in his presence.  It has so totally revolutionized my life to know how God has used and continues to use my Christian brother to help me overcome my “uncomfortableness” with males.  Through this process, I have discovered the difference between “males and men” as Bill has discovered the difference between “females and women.”  One relates to human gender, raging hormones, socially biased attitudes and typically unrealistic expectations.   The other is God’s reverent design for sacred marriage since before Genesis unveiled Eden. 

            This morning as William complimented me for yet another of what I considered a “routine and ordinary” breakfast, he expressed his gratitude this way.

            “Kate, I never imagined what my life could be like living with a wife.  You have far exceeded anything I could ever have imagined.  You are a true treasure to me.”

            Now ladies (and gents who cook for your wife), never underestimate the days of small beginnings.  You may consider preparing breakfast a trivial task… sunny-side up eggs, crispy bacon, and home-style biscuits with apple butter, but to your spouse (whether he/she voices a compliment or not), it is a careful, considerate demonstration of compassion and comfort all wrapped up in the imaginary treasure of “red gingham & warm heart butter.”

            None of us is guaranteed tomorrow.  Both William and I have lived long enough to experience how unpredictable, precarious and fragile life is.  As your “honey” is buttering your biscuit with compliments for the seemingly mundane chores of life, welcome the richness of those moments. 

That is REAL TREASURE.

(c) Copyright 2014-2016

PASSION

          There’s something to be said for pursuit.  I remember the director training days of my Mary Kay Cosmetics career when a motivational speaker inspired us “to look for others like ourselves” ….strong personalities with passion for what we did…passion for helping others look and feel beautiful about themselves.  Yes, these relationships didn’t just happen.  They were pursued.  But what is it about passion that we often feel that there is something wrong in the pursuit?

          This year my passion found its awakened inspiration in numerous unlikely ways.  Two years ago, I found a YouTube video called “Stewarding the Dream” by Matt Tommey, author of “Unlocking the Heart of the Artist” and founder of the Worship Studio. I also heard a message entitled “Seven Mountains” by Lance Wallnau, speaker, author, and catalytic thinker, who stoked a fire that I had thought, was long ago extinguished.  I was a casualty of an inner war that swore “never more” to engage in any intimate relationship, love, and certainly NOT marriage, ever again.   Through recent months and years, I had also abandoned the core message of my own existence, “creativity.”  It was as if I was Eutychus in Acts 20 falling from the window sill while listening to the apostle Paul as he preached on for hours. After sinking into a deep sleep, “Passion” also fell to her death.   My life’s circumstances and adversity had assassinated all her dreams.   

          As I listened with a new resolve to these two messages, I remembered a New Year’s Eve prayer from a special, dear friend who spoke that same “rekindling message” into existence and “Passion” was resurrected to a new life in me.   

          It wasn’t the typical New Year’s Eve bash by any means as our Bible study group met to fellowship over the last meal of 2011 and ponder the hopeful new year.  As we were all departing, my friend, who I had known for about two years in other ministry circles, casually asked my opinion of artistic success in our local community.  My response was lack luster and I am certain it revealed my discouraging dead dreams.  I could feel a wellspring of tears building that, for a brief moment, could not be stifled.  He took my hand and began to pray for “the Lord to ignite the embers that lay dormant in my creative soul.”

          Three art exhibitions, this blog, and more recently, a song I have composed are the direct results from the Lord’s Voice in their mouths to my ears and hands.  One of the assurances from Father God that I have realized is that the music, words, and art pictures will NEVER run dry.  Lots of writers and artists angst over silence and blocked ideas.  They wonder as I have, too, about all the “what ifs.” For example, “What if I have no ideas with real depth to convey? No new innovative concepts for dazzling my viewers?  No new tricks for intriguing and entertaining their eyes and ears?”  “What if, what if, what if?”

          All fear messages begin with those two little words, “What if.”  I should know.  I listened to them as they whispered quietly about my progressing age, my career as I approached retirement, and what I thought initially would be a very temporary, apartment residential status that neared the two year anniversary mark.  Their louder messages produced an incredible loneliness in my self-imposed isolation after a very difficult divorce. The absence of my immediate biological family, coupled with my daughter and son-in-law’s kind invitation prompted a decision to make a geographical move and write a new chapter of life as a “grandmother in residence.”

          The time with my daughter’s family was a delightful treasure albeit a very short chapter.  It was a costly move relationally, professionally and financially.  It was physically challenging, emotionally wrenching for all of us, but spiritually renewing because within a short time, I suddenly returned to my former city to marry my special friend who had spoken the prophetic prayer over me that New Year’s Eve 2011.  Courtship became an obedient response to His call on my life of ministry.

          Little did I know then that his words would someday ignite a new and passionate flame for living a “honeymoon life.”  My new husband continues to rekindle my hope with healing words, teaching words, reverent and nourishing words that nurture the passion for my smoldering creativity that was once bleak and frozen.  We are two people who are living examples of Jesus as He rescues the perishing relational parts of us that were indeed, dying.   His life was a solitary ministry life that similarly “had fallen off the window sill” but had been run over by an 80,000 pounds 18-wheeler truck carrying grapefruit.  He spent several years in rehab learning how to walk again.  We are both still in recovery but no longer walking alone. 

          The day I began writing this post, I watched the morning news from New York City. The network featured a video segment showing the communities in New Jersey that were damaged by Hurricane Sandy last year. Their residents had recorded encouraging messages to help soften the devastating blows of bombing victims at the Boston Marathon, an explosive blast in West, TX and the tornado victims in Oklahoma which also happened during the same months of my transition.  It was a greater Community encouraging others and refreshing to see in the media.

          The message from the network’s video struck a chord with me.   We all suffer losses in life. Perhaps not because of hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, earthquakes, or tsunamis, but they are calamities that implode our lives just the same.  As devastating as these natural disasters are, the loss of lives, homes, families, friends, pets and material things, a pervasive truth that time and process hold dear is still true…there is HOPE for a better tomorrow.  And this is the core message of my blog to you who continue to read and follow my posts.   Whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed, your best days are ahead no matter what life looks like right now. 

          These aren’t merely romantic words to fill this blog entry. Truly, it is my effort at helping you to hear the Voice from on High and embrace the mysteries of a passionate love story meant to be lived to the fullest!  My post today is for those of you who are struggling with all the love songs that serenade your memories of who you once were when “the two of you became one.”  Each melody awakens a time of pleasure and/or pain that ignites or dampens your pursuits of discovery, recovery or rediscovery.  Each lyric may actually be a poem written by the hand of God to empower you to be all He created you to be.  Whether we choose to see Him or not, God is always at work singing Heaven’s Song, dancing with and caressing us.  He desires to reveal Himself to us in countless, different ways that are unique to our design.  His Voice calls to each of us with a Power to transform our lives with His Passion for living as He lived.  Just like many of you, Jesus lost family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors when they didn’t understand, agree or fully embrace His mission. But He didn’t merely lose His life…  He gave His life to establish a Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, a Kingdom on earth that for now is lived by faith, hope and love.

          Do I have all the answers?  No, and if I did, then I wouldn’t need God in my life.  I don’t even pretend to know the WHY of it all.   My husband’s scars are visible for the entire world to see while mine have been hiding away in my wounded heart. We both have made peace with how life has pushed us out of the upper room windows into each other’s arms.  Embracing passion for life is beautiful and I think he would agree, “I wouldn’t change a thing.  Each event was a northern star that pointed me to you.”

          Dear reader, we all have a personal, imperfect narrative of how God is chasing us down and still wooing us back to our unfinished assignments.  This is my story and what I know now is,

“There are canvases yet to be painted, stories yet to be written, and music in the air that is yet to be heard.”
(c) Copyright 2013-2016 

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NANA'S GARDEN

The post below is a revised copy of the eulogy I gave at my mother's memorial service several years ago.  Its message is still relevant today.  Below the post, you will find two links for photography books of the gardens in my life.  My mother never saw either of these books or the photographs published there, but I daresay that she is walking hand in hand with the Master Gardener Himself and can identify each by heavenly name!

          It was springtime and everything all abloom.  Mom and I were doing our usual Monday trek to the doctor’s office, then to lunch, the pharmacy and back to Mt. Carmel.  This day as we passed an outdoor plant nursery, she commented how beautiful the spring flowers were.  “Oh, I could just spend all day in there,” she said.   She voiced her discontent at not having her very own patio for a few potted plants.  Mt. Carmel wouldn’t even allow ivy in the windowsill of her room…for safety and fire hazards, you know.  So, she drooled over the impatiens as we drove by. 

          We finished with the doctor’s appointment and drove the same street back toward town while she told me about the goings on at the Home.  Someone was angry because the designated smoking section had been moved further down the porch.  Then she began to tell me about Mac, whose wife had been moved on to a nursing home and he himself was sick with a bad cold.  Interestingly enough, Mac had been someone she disliked when she first moved to Mt. Carmel.  At that time, he walked with a walker and shoved people aside by hitting their chair legs several times as he passed through to his seat.  Once when she whispered to me, “I just hate him”, I quickly reminded her to hate his behavior, not him.

          She went on to tell me how sick his wife had been, how worried he was about her, and now he didn’t feel well either.  At breakfast, she went to his table and patted his arm to tell him “It’s okay.  You’re going to feel better.  It’ll be all right.”  Another resident heard her words and said, “I sure wish you’d bless me like that.”  This lady, Eloise, had also been hard to get along with until the next morning, Mom patted her arm and said, “Eloise, may the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you today!”  Eloise beamed and asked the other ladies at the table, “Did you hear what she said to me?” 

          Another heart won.   And there was Bro. Henry who she really had a crush on, but he was “taken”.  He and his lady friend, Carolyn were an “item” though her family didn’t approve.  She had money and he didn’t.  He was Hispanic and a retired Baptist preacher and she was Catholic.  But Mom practiced her Spanish each morning with Bro. Henry to encourage him.  “Mi amigo! Como esta?” And then there was Leo, a 91-year old bachelor who fell in love with Mom and proposed daily as she served him his morning coffee and patted his arm.  She gave him attention like he had never known before.  The “love of his life” had married someone else while he was away for 4 years at war in Europe.  He was broken hearted until he met Nelda.  Every day he would ask, “Why couldn’t I have met you 50 years ago?”

          Now just the day before mother’s Monday appointment, I had heard a message of “reaping what we sow” from a visiting lay preacher at my church.  He had shared with us that Galatians 6:7 is a Biblical law that the secular world has adopted and proven as a universal law.  You’ve heard it, “What goes around, comes around.”  It does work, negatively and positively.  He told how he had planted many “anger” seeds, “jealousy”  and “rebellion against authority” seeds, “unforgiveness” seeds, “complaining” seeds, and so on, even some “stealing” seeds in his youth that now, as a successful businessman, he was reaping from employees who stole inventory from him.   He said the most important thing to understand about God’s universal law of sowing and reaping is that whatever is missing in your life,  whatever your needs in relationships are… in order to receive acceptance, for example, one must give it….first. 

          With this fresh in my memory, I saw an opportunity to share with Mom that she was planting seeds of love, mercy, hope, gentleness, acceptance and encouragement in the lives of her family at Mt. Carmel Home.   These were fruit of the Spirit I observed operating in her life.  As we talked more, she looked at me and said, “Why, I HAVE A GARDEN AFTER ALL!”  The intersection of Holly & Staples Street will always remind me of the moment “she got it.”   She finally understood and knew her purpose at Mt. Carmel was to plant and to be light in someone’s dark world.  She bloomed where she was planted.  She realized she had turned a corner.  Her attitude changed and the last few months of her life were the happiest I have seen. I personally believe it was her “life lesson” and when she learned it, the Lord took her home. 

          That’s what I want to share with all of you today.  We all have a choice to plant anger & rage seeds or tender & loving seeds.  I ask you to remember the seeds that Nana  or someone like her,  has planted and watered in your lives, whether it was a meal, a pat on your arm or pop on your behind, an encouraging phone call, a little note, a scripture or smile, a birthday card or her special rendition of Happy Birthday. The legacy is the garden of your life that you will plant and grow depending on how you tend it.  There will be birds that will pick at the seed, the thorns or circumstances in your life may grow up and choke it out, the hot sun may scorch baby leaves of new, tender growth or maybe the seed just fell on the rocky ground of your heart and failed to take root.  There are many here today who will choose to have good and fertile soil.  You have ears to hear, a willingness to respond and a desire to grow and display impatiens, petunias, pansies, agapanthus, snapdragons, begonias, caladiums, amaryllis, wisteria and more! 

          Mom prayed for many years to be healed and she finally received her ultimate healing when she went to be with the Lord.  She did not lose heart in well doing for in due time, she knew she would reap a harvest if she did not grow weary and give up.  There were many times she grew weary and wanted to give up, but she “fought the good fight, ran the race God set before her, and kept her faith…to the end.”  It is our choice to choose what crops we plant. 

What crops are you planting?

(c) Copyright 2013-2016

Anderson Bromeliad Conservatory



 South Texas Botanical Gardens

COME AND DINE

I pray that you hear the same message I heard one morning as I had my prayer time. What did I really hear that morning? The Father of the Universe really does love ME. And He loves YOU, too. 

Over a cup of coffee one morning, it went something like this.........

Me: Lord, I want to enjoy our relationship…

God: Kate, I don’t want you to just “enjoy” Me…I want you to love Me and seek Me with your whole heart, and even when you don’t enjoy it…even when you are entwined in other’s lives, even when you find yourself in your own pit of despair, even when grief and pain have you in their greedy clutches. Life is not always about your enjoyment. I REALLY WANT YOU. I long for your tenderness and loyalty towards ME. I just miss you and our talks.

Me: Father, I confess that at times, I do spend my time foolishly…I have overslept, checked emails, surfed FaceBook for status updates from my kids, washed dishes, folded laundry, fed or watered plants and animals. Most of my activities have had priority above my intimate time with You, AND DONE WITHOUT A THOUGHT! And I am merely "getting on" with my day…paperwork, deposits, groceries and chores. All I craved was another cup of coffee! That is “first fruits?” (Please never measure me by this, Lord!)

I do realize that my getting up EARLY to spend time with You can be ritualized and pious. After all, aren’t all those religious “Pharisees” watching?” They recommend “follow these rules, apply this formula, do this reading plan, spend at least 30 minutes upon awakening…sacrificing first fruits of my day to the Lord…” I know spending intentional time with you daily is vital, but Lord, I seem to constantly fail at this discipline.

God: Kate, I love you and accept you whether you DO IT or NOT, whether you DO IT FIRST or LAST in your day…I just want time with you. It’s true that I AM jealous of those other activities and the people that you give greater attention to, but Christ in you is your right standing with Me, not how much time or when you dwell in My Presence…I AM  always with you…I NEVER LEAVE, but I DO miss being with you, talking to you...our communion. That’s why Jesus came and gave Himself…so that we could truly have fellowship in the cool of the garden again. Remember? The garden of your heart?

Me: Lord, where do You go when a believer sins? Since You are Holy and cannot fellowship with darkness or occupy the same place with sin, what happens to a believer who submits to the desires of their flesh and uses illegal drugs, for example? Where are You?

God: Kate, this sin is an act performed by the physical body, but actually took place in a heart life first… This beloved’s heart is more “sensitive” to the carnal things of their soul & their emotions rather than to spiritual things. This beloved’s mind THINKS primarily about gaining pleasure from drugs or whatever the sinful behavior is. The emotions FEEL and remember previous euphoria & escape experiences, and this beloved’s WILL desires to obsessively do it again & again. The physical body is compelled and driven to respond in addiction repeatedly. This is the battleground of spirit, soul, and body in every person, believer and unbeliever alike, whether the sin is drugs, sensuality, theft or lying. The root of all these sins is still doubt and unbelief that I, GOD, can be trusted with ALL of life.

Me: Yes, but where are You when we continue yielding to the enemy?

God: …In the same place I was when Jesus bore the shame of ALL mankind at Calvary. I turned My Head then, and I turn away now, too. I see the weaknesses of EVERY sinner merely acting out of this brokenness. All the while, they are unaware that My Remedy has already permeated, infused, and perfected every wound with heavenly balm. This beloved believer may never have truly embraced Me as Healer but has only made a mental decision much like your thoughts about your “to do” list. This believer's soul has not yet completely understood or received the full measure of the gift I have freely given.

Kate, how do I break through your brokenness to reveal Perfection to you? I turn My face towards you again and again. I embrace and caress you, I shout and sometimes scream dreams to awaken you. I whisper and continually sing the Invitation to come and dine with Me.  These days, I use whatever means necessary to get your attention, even a busy "TO DO" list. Aren’t you hungry, Kate?  Today, as every day, the menu is the same: 

   “Salvation” served with generous portions of Forgiveness,

   Health, Deliverance and Wholeness for EVERY area of LIFE!

I hope you like Lamb….

Me: Oh, Lord, I am hungry and thirsty…. But You didn’t mention a Price List for the menu…

God: I purposely left the menu costs blank… All I ask is that you come to My table. My Word says, “I give to the one who hungers and thirsts from the spring of the water of Life without cost.” Rev. 21:6

Me: No cost?

God: Supping the meal with Me does command a sacrifice…the highest anyone could give.

Me: Death?

God: Yes, Kate, you already know. It is you who must die to your self-idols…all those indulging, unhealthy relationships, absorbing thoughts, and self-serving activities.  This kind of life requires dying to your cravings for all those delectable “side dishes” like the seduction of just one more bite. Dining with Me calls for starving your insatiable appetites, saying NO to the lust and greed in your heart for more, more and still more... If you don't get anything else from our conversation today, it is most important for you to understand how I view these idols in your daily life. Remember, I AM the Lover of your soul and essentially, your busyness sets up many opportunities for committing spiritual adultery against Me. Most people misunderstand the sin of adultery and see it only as a sexual sin committed against marriage while I view adultery as ANYTHING that poisons our Covenant relationship. Digest that for awhile. 

We've talked about personal holiness before. Here's the secret. The beauty of Holiness requires the beauty of your sacrificial ashes first. I think it might qualify as "first fruits." In spiritual reality, this sacrifice of your will to satisfy yourself is what it truly means to “take up your cross daily and follow Him.” I know that your daily commitments are vital, but I AM more important than today's TO DO list. I would at least like to see some time allotted to JESUS written on the page. I think you would find such rest and peace there just fixing your gaze on My Name! Maybe even prop your feet up and enjoy another cup of coffee with Me!

Me: You really are inviting me to communion…true communion with the Bread of Life?

God: Yes, Kate! The most basic human needs, hunger and thirst, are satisfied only in a personal relationship with Me through Jesus. He makes you stand aright, straight and tall before Me. Clean, white and without a single fault, too. This is true communion and righteousness, My righteousness that Jesus died to give you. When My Spirit convicts you of your sin and repentance transforms your heart towards Me, I turn My face back towards you. I see My Beloved Son saturating you with balm and binding up your brokenness…again and again.

Me: Oh, how I needed Your revelation today, Lord…

God: Here are a few scriptures to help you along. Kate, look at the table…

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry. Psalm 34:15

Are your eyes darkened in your understanding? I want the eyes of your heart to be enlightened to the Truth that will truly set you free. Eph 1:18

They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore, neither shall the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne shall be their shepherd and shall guide them to springs of the water of life; and God shall wipe every tear from their eyes. Rev 7:16-17

There will no longer be death, mourning, crying, or pain…He makes all things new…His words are faithful and true. He who overcomes shall inherit these things…life everlasting and joy unspeakable from the Lamb.  Rev 21:4-7

These are My revelations for you today, beloved….

Me: Uh, Lord, is it ok… that I really …don’t eat …much meat….or even like…lamb?

God: Yes, Kate, I know….

You profess to be a vegan most days, but I AM watching you eat that rib eye steak EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT at the Astor’s Steakhouse….

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